From The New Statesman, December/January issue:
By Russell Brand
I’ve come late to the WikiLeaks debacle as I live in Los Angeles and work in the film industry, a combination that does not encourage an investigative perspective of our planet. There are blind, naked mole rats that have more awareness of current affairs. But while surfing the internet for information on pet psychiatrists, hair gels and “me,” I happened upon the diplomatic crisis that is dramatically accelerating our dwindling faith in those who govern us.
When a cultural phenomenon reaches the point of saturation, I wonder if its authors ever query their choice of name. I wonder if Smeg fridges would do things differently if given a second chance? Or if the Beatles, informed at their genesis that they were about to become the biggest band in history, might have paused to reconsider their “punny” title. WikiLeaks is not a good name for a whistle-blowing website, the contents of which embarrass the powerful and expose clumsy and brutal military activity. It sounds like a West End musical about a bladder condition. Or an unreliable, robot butler. I’m sure I could come up with a better name.
Dirty Petty Things
The information contained in the leaked embassy cables (toxi-tweets?) oscillates from the terrifying to the puerile. In spite of our nagging suspicion that the war in Afghanistan is being shoddily conducted, it is disturbing to read internal reports of civilian murder and deliberate misrepresentation of facts. It is also unnerving to learn of the creeping potency of China and the creaking shifts of the fragile axis of power.
Most unsettling of all, though, is the petty, snickering attitude of those exposed within. Ambassadors, ministers and spies the world over employ the conceited, insular vernacular of a bunch of oily prefects. Kim Jong-il is described as “flabby,” the former president of Haiti is “an indispensable chameleon character,” and Prince Andrew likes falconry. Kim Jong-il is flabby? That’s a bit personal. I can see that for myself — I don’t need a dose of international intrigue to confirm that. And, may I ask, what would an “indispensable chameleon” do? Reptilian First Aid? I’ve never been in a situation where a chameleon could not be sacrificed if necessary. When the pressure’s on, the colour-changing lizards are the first to be dispensed with. They get a worse deal than the travellers. As for Prince Andrew’s interest in falcons: unless he’s about to train a kestrel squad to swoop into Buckingham Palace and peck out the eyes of everyone between him and the throne, I’m not sure that it matters. I’m not saying the WikiLeaks site isn’t a valuable resource, obviously it is; I’m just concerned that much of the world of espionage is so snide.
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